Repeating My Advice to Public Figures:NEVER Apologize! It Will Not Work.

A couple weeks ago, the not-terribly funny comedian Tracy Morgan came under fire for making some vicious jokes about murdering his son if he turned out to be a homosexual.

Tracy Morgan being unfunny (as usual).

Naturally, the "advocacy groups" and other self-righteous glory-hounds starting howling with mock outrage.

As often happens, Morgan groveled for forgiveness--which got him nothing except being held out to ridicule and abuse by those he whose forgiveness he sought.

Now, Morgan is in the exact same situation again, only this time it's not The Gays that are mad, but the advocates for the Retarded.

Entertainment Weekly: Again? Tracy Morgan Under Fire for ‘Retarded’ Jokes

If there's anything that comedians, actors, performers of every stripe--even politicians--and other people in the public eye can learn from Morgan and others who have been in his situation, it's that it NEVER does you any good to start apologizing for what you say and do when "advocacy groups" start assailing you with faux outrage and indignant histrionics. All that happens is that they and their fellow publicity-seeking parasites--sorry, concerned representatives of community groups and non-profit organizations--will sense weakness and will come after you even harder.

Your best option--ONLY option, really--is to double-down and tell them to go screw themselves. And then make a few more jokes of the stripe that supposedly offended them.

Apologize to your friends and loved ones if you hurt or anger them, but don't EVER let yourself be forced into asking forgiveness from those who are just waiting to pounce on you because the make a living taking offense and your humiliation becomes a line on their resume. Stand up for yourself. Don't let yourself be bullied. It will gain you nothing but more contempt.

Think about it. Is there a single actor or politician who as gained ANYTHING from sucking up to the professionally over-sensitive "activists" who have infested American culture over the past 25 years? I can't think of a single person.

The response any public figure should issue when
those who make a living taking offense demand apologies.

A little something to help you get through the long weekend

Earlier this week, I published my first of several eBooks featuring classic fiction re-edited to a lesser or greater degree by yours truly. I'm leading this new venture of mine with a long-time favorite--John Kendrick Bangs' "Houseboat on the River Styx".

I've performed some editing and abridgments of Bangs' original book and combined it with an edited version of the sequel, "In Pursuit of the Houseboat". I hope my efforts have breathed new life into this neat fantasy classic that has the leading Shades of Hades creating a social club. Arguments about life, the afterlife, and why it's too bad that Noah didn't put dinosaurs on his ark ensue.

For a special sales price of just $1.25, you can get a 94-page pdf-format book with chapter illustrations by famed fantasy artist Larry Elmore and others that you can enjoy on a number of platforms, the iBook in particular.

All of my earnings on the book go to feed my hungry cats, so please buy a copy today! Archie and Edith will be ever so grateful.

(Also, be sure to keep a look-out for the tie-in with my recently released game "Rolf!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters". It'll present several of the characters from "Houseboat on the Styx" through the prism of "Rolf!", battle ready for your imaginary mayhem enjoyment.)

I may ruin a festive atmosphere tonight....

I may be throwing a metaphorical "Molotov Cocktail" into a room this evening. And it will all be Madonna's fault.

Why? Well, I'm glad you asked!

It seems that Madonna is no better a director than she is an actor if the dirge-like "buzz" surrounding the 25 million dollar picture "W.E.", about a British royal scandal in the 1930s, is any indication.

The Daily Mail Online presents a round-up of gossip regarding her troubled, will-be/might-be feature film debut that was pulled at the last minute from this year's Cannes festival due to supposed soundtrack problems, and distributor Harvey Weinstein is currently overseeing the re-cutting after it reportedly bombed with a test audience at a super-secret screening last week. The film, apparently, made no sense and was a stellar example of what happens when someone who emphasizes style of substance is also a lousy storyteller.

If you are so inclined, you can read all about in Imperious, arrogant, stroppy: No, not Wallis Simpson but Madonna, but this is the following bit that really interested me:

"In an interview Madonna remarked: ‘I’ve found that if you bring up King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson at a dinner party or a social gathering, it’s like throwing a Molotov cocktail into the room. Everyone erupts into an argument about who they were. I mean, they were very controversial — and continue to be. So, of course, I’m very attracted to that.’"

Madonna, wearing her 'serious filmmaker' face

Is King Edward VIII of Great Britain and his love for an American divorcee a topic that comes up at parties you attend, dear reader? And when it does, does it lead to explosive arguments or just blank stares and polite smiles as those around think, "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Would anyone even know who Wallis Simpson is?

Perhaps it's a British thing?

I'm going to ask at a gathering I'll be at tonight if anyone has an opinion about King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson. I'll report what happened tomorrow, in the comments section below.

If it turns out that I completely ruin the congenial atmosphere, I will be all apologies and explain that I was testing a claim by Madonna. They will understand; I am viewed as being insane anyway.

Meanwhile, if anyone reading this wants to see what happens if bring up Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson to a group of your friends, acquaintances, co-workers, or whoever you happen to be in line with at the grocery store, I'd love to hear your report. (I won't provide your bail money if a riot breaks out at the Safeway. Not that I think that's going to happen.)

(BTW, if the subject of Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson pisses people off, then why is the Material Girl bringing it up at parties? Does she do it when she wants to leave, when she doesn't like the hosts, or just because she's a bitch who likes to ruin a pleasant time? Me, I think it's none of the above, but that Madonna has a rich fantasy life. But, we will soon know!)

Gene Colan dead at 84

Legendary comic book artist Gene Colan has passed away from a broken hip and complication relating to liver disease. He was 84.

Colan had nearly 70 years of experience in the comic book industry and worked for nearly every noteworthy publisher. Achievements in his career include penciling every issue of "Tomb of Dracula" in the 1970s, as well as "The Curse of Dracula" and the "Tomb of Dracula" mini-series in the 1990s; multi-year, landmark stints on "Daredevil", "Iron Man", and "Doctor Strange" for Marvel Comics and "Detective Comics" and "Batman" for DC Comics. He also co-created the Falcon for Marvel, the first African-American superhero in mainstream comics, penciled most issues of the surreal humor title "Howard the Duck", and illustrated the landmark miniseries "Silver Blade".

Another giant has left us, and there is no one working today that can even come close to filling his shoes.

Colan's last published work appeared last year in "Captain America" #601. My personal favorite Colan work can be found in the first 60 or so issues of "Tomb of Dracula", his stint on the "Batman" titles and "Howard the Duck", and the obscure "Ragamuffins" series from Eclipse Comics.

For more samples of Colan's art, visit Joe Bloke's Grantbridge Street & Other Misadventures blog.

Tennessee Thursday: Rep. Charles Curtiss

On July 1, a law takes effect in Tennessee that makes it illegal to post anything that anyone might feel "emotional distress" over. Today, I offer another profile of the Tennessee "lawmakers" who seem to think the 1st and/or 14th Amendments to the United States Constitution doesn't apply in that "great state."

But first... a little something that might soon be illegal in the state that claims to be "America at its best."

Postings That May Be Illegal in Tennessee #2


If that video upset you emotionally, morally, or constitutionally (in the stomach-turning sense), be sure to email Rep. Charles Curtiss. Curtiss is the main architect of a law so Unconstitutional one wonders if he slept through every single Civics class in grade school, or whether bricks were dropped on his head during his pre-political career.



Tennessee "Lawmaker" Profile #2: Rep. Charles Curtiss

Representative Charles Curtiss lives with his wife and daughter on land that has been in his family since the time of his great-grandfather. Don't mistake him for landed gentry, however, as he has proudly spent the early part of his working life as a brick mason. In the early 1980s, he decided to give up honest work and entered politics. He was elected to the Tennessee Legislature in 1994 and is presently in his seventh term. He is Chairman of the House Commerce Committee, Chairman of the Joint Fiscal Review Committee and Co-chair of the Select Committee on Veteran's Affairs. He also sits on the Joint Committee on Worker's Compensation and the Joint Corrections Oversight Committee.

While one hopes the Corrections Oversight Committee could do a little correcting in Tennessee state politics that is still something the citizens of that state must do at the ballot box. They must have som pretty sorry choices in elections if the quality of the ranking representatives is anything to go by.

By the way, Curtiss is a Democrat. Someone help me out here... which political party is supposedly trying to deny Americans their Constitutional rights?

That which has been seen, cannot be unseen...

And you should keep that in mind before you watch Weird Al's latest video. It's a hilarious spoof of Lady Gaga, but I'm not sure I'll ever dare close my eyes again.... I might see. Urgh. I can't... I can't even type the words.

Watch the video for "Perform This Way", if you dare!



Best lyric: I'll be a troll, or evil queen/I'll be a human jelly bean/For everyday is Halloween (for me).

Best moment: The commentary on Lady Gaga as a rip-off of Madonna.

Ryan Dunn dead at 34

"Jackass" star Ryan Dunn, who along with his cast mates made Americans cringe and snicker through vulgar stunts in their multimillion-dollar TV and movie franchise, was killed early Monday in a fiery car crash. He was 34.

Both Dunn and his passenger were severely burned. The passenger was identified late Monday as 30-year-old Zachary Hartwell. Dunn had been more easily identified based on his hair and tattoos.

Dunn's current series, "Proving Ground", had just debuted on the G4 network. The network has placed future episodes on hold while they determine the future of the series.

Dunn's final movie role saw him playing a slacker who returns from the dead as a playful and perverted ghost in "Living Will...". The film was completed in 2010, but has yet to find its way into wide distribution. Now, he might have a chance to make life (or the after-life, I suppose) imitate art.